Irresistible
by idioticonion
Summary: Barney's in a pickle. Robin comes to the rescue. AU set after 4.14 The Possimpible


Irresistible

"I'm not kidding…" He whispered into the phone. "Please Robin, I'm begging you…"

"Barney…" Robin yawns and checks her bedside clock. "Don't you usually call Lily about this sort of stuff? I have to get up for work tomorrow…"

The phone goes silent for a minute, then she can hear him breathing. He makes a small strangled noise. "Robin!" He snarls in the phone. "You _owe_ me, Scherbatsky."

"Okay, okay," she says grumpily, ending the call with a stab of her finger. She pulls on jeans and a sweater, splashing cold water over her face before hunting for Ted's keys then dashing out of the apartment to get a cab.

Barney's place is over twenty minutes away. Plenty of time for her to regret agreeing to this. If Barney had got himself into trouble with one of his skank-whores then why did it have to be _her_ who bailed him out? Yeah, she owes him. But come _on_!

Robin waves casually at the doorman (she's never bothered to correct his assumption that _she_ was one of the skank-whores) and takes the elevator up to Barney's apartment. She lets herself in with Ted's spare key and calls out, "Honey! I'm ho-ome!"

There's a squeal and a naked, peroxide-haired girl comes screaming out of the bedroom armed with a…

Christ!

Instinct takes over and Robin grabs Barney's samurai sword (not taking it out of the scabbard) and blocks the banshee's arm, swinging it like a hockey stick and delivering a glancing blow that sends the girl reeling.

"You leave my man alone!" Robin screams, over-dramatically and almost incoherently. The blonde scrambles for her clothes, still yelling, then turns tail to escape from the apartment and Barney's (evidently insane) sword-wielding girlfriend.

Robin is left, breathing heavily and holding the heavy scabbard in both hands.

_Just how did I come to this?_ She thinks.

From the bedroom, she can hear the sound of rattling. "What did I miss? What did I miss?" Barney calls out.

Robin strides over to the bedroom and draws the sword, pointing it directly at Barney's throat and trying not to notice just how… naked… he is. He swallows, Adam's apple bobbing, as she draws the tip of the sword down his chest. It's blunt enough not to hurt him and cold enough to make his nipples bunch and harden.

She smirks. "Furry handcuffs? Classy."

Barney laughs uneasily. "So, you gonna uncuff me?"

"You got a key?"

He grins desperately. The tip of the sword runs across his abdomen. "Yeah, side draw…" He bobs his head to the right, twice.

When she makes no move to get it, his eyes widen. "Robin…" He says gently, carefully.

She lets a grin slowly spread across her face. "I don't know, Barney. I kind of like having you here, at my mercy…" She drags the point of the sword around to the side of his stomach and across to the top of his thigh. His penis twitches.

"Who was she anyway?"

"Did I, uh, ever tell you the story of Becca DeLucci?" He says, licking his lips.

"Oh, the prison skank?" Robin hefts the sword and just about manages to get it back in its scabbard. Barney sighs with relief.

"Well, she got parole…" He says.

"Ah."

"Yeah."

Robin laughs out loud. "And you let her cuff you to the bed? Smart move, Stinson…"

Barney tries to shrug, which is pretty difficult with his hands shackled above his head.

"Someone ought to teach you a lesson…" She hisses. It's late. She's pretty tired. And he's… naked …helpless.

Pretty irresistible.

"Are you gonna take off the cuffs?" He asks.

"What do you think?" She answers, toe-ing off her shoes and unbuttoning her jeans.

"Hot!" He hisses, as she pulls off her jeans and sweater. His eyes follow her wherever she moves, wide and unblinking. Sheesh, he's a complete dog! A dangerous criminal had just been about to - do what? Something with a big ass knife - and now he's raring to go again.

Robin pulls off her panties and straddles him. "You know… I think you could get out of those handcuffs if you really wanted?"

He looks up at her in surprise. "What?"

"I mean, I've seen you escape from a locked box full of water. A little pair of handcuffs shouldn't be a problem."

He chuckles. "You got me, Scherbatsky." He even has the balls to wink at her. "So why did you come over?"

She grabs a condom from the side of the bed. "I thought it was time to pay you back for getting me that job."

He groans as she takes hold of his dick. She isn't gentle. She rolls on the condom and gives it a little slap. He winces and she raises one eyebrow, challenging him to get out of the cuffs, to stop her. It turns her on that he doesn't. It turns her on that he's surrendering to her like this.

Robin starts pumping him firmly, fondling his balls and squeezing them until he's writhing beneath her, his eyelids fluttering as he lets out moan after moan. She reaches up and tweaks his nipple, hard, viciously and he arches off the bed with a cry, his eyes snapping open. She grins, moving up his body, masturbating him lazily, keeping him on edge but never letting him tip over. He begs her, a stream of pleas tumbling over his lips until they merge with the desperate gasps and sighs. Finally, she guides him, between her legs, letting him thrust up only once into her before pulling her hips away.

He lets out a host of profanities while she laughs, lightly, settling her weight on top of him again before pulling away.

"I set the pace," she whispers in his ear. For a second, he looks like he's going to resist, then he nods. He's breathing rapidly, his thigh muscles are clenching with the effort of trying to hold himself back, trying _not_ to slam himself into her.

She grins, sitting upright, moving her hips in a slow, circular motion, grinding herself on to him but not giving him permission to move. She sees his features contort, knowing she's torturing him, knowing he _loves_ it, feeling the pulsing pleasure build inside her.

"Ah… Robin… Please!" He begs her, pulling urgently at the cuffs, his knuckles whitening.

The she lowers her hips, hard, suddenly, shocking him, and she kicks at his thighs with her heels. His blue eyes go very wide and then he laughs joyously, bucking upwards to meet her as she practically bounces them both off the bed with the force of each thrust. He makes a strangled sound and she moves fast, double-time, a guttural growl escaping from her throat as she comes, he whole body shuddering as she feels his release, perfectly in synch with her, although she's deaf to his cries as the ecstasy washes over her.

Robin sags forward, her hair falling in ragged strands over her face, and she stays there until her heartbeat slows, her breathing returns to normal. When she opens her eyes, he's staring at her, awestruck, lips slightly parted. For a moment, she moves closer, as if to kiss him. Then she laughs and levers herself off him, searching for her panties and pulling on her clothes.

"Robin…" He says, giving her puppy dog eyes and rattling the cuffs. "A little help here? You promised?"

She turns and flashes him a grin. "I got rid of your psycho skanktron, Barney. You deal with the handcuffs!"

She stares at him, daring him.

"Damn it, Scherbatsky!" He says with a sigh. She can't see exactly what he does but he's out of the handcuffs with a flash and rubbing his wrists. He tosses them to her and she catches them.

Robin laughs, placing them on the end of the bed.

"The great escapologist…" She runs her hands through her hair and fetches Ted's keys.

"Don't go…" He says- She _thinks_ he says.

"I'm sorry, what?" She says, turning back to him.

"Um… thanks Robin," He says, giving her a false grin.

It's late. It's cold outside. She has to be up in the morning for work.

But he's there. He's naked.

He's irresistible.

She grabs the handcuffs and leaps back on top of him.


End file.
